Two of the most-watched people on the planet, perfectly in sync, glowing under arena lights. She’s beaming. He’s beaming. The Knicks are winning. The aesthetic is flawless.
And every single person scrolling past those photos felt the same quiet ache. The one that whispers: why doesn’t mine look like that?
Here’s the thing nobody is saying out loud. What you’re watching is real. It’s also a phase. And the fantasy it’s selling you, that the right person makes love effortless, is the exact belief that breaks most relationships I see in my office.
In my opinion, from birth to death, human beings are wired for emotional bonding. Our nervous systems are constantly scanning the people closest to us, asking two questions underneath everything: Are you there for me? and Am I enough for you?
In the honeymoon phase, the answer is a continuous, intoxicating yes.
I describe it to clients like a dance floor. One person steps on and breakdances. The other responds with a flawless moonwalk. Both nervous systems conclude, instantly, that they were made for each other. That’s the courtside kiss. That’s the arm around the neck. That’s two attachment systems flooded with validation in real time.
The danger isn’t the high. The danger is the cultural story we wrap around it.
